You’ve heard it time and time again: the battle between breast versus bottle. “Breast is best” is one of those sayings that never goes away. Heck, Call the Midwife had an entire episode dedicated to it. But here’s the thing: we’re at the point where Millenials are the mom majority and they don’t do the whole Mom-Shame bit. So why is it still such a big deal?
I’ve known since 6th grade bio class that if I ever had children I would breastfeed. So naturally when I became pregnant I started researching. I’d known a few friends who had attempted it but said their bodies just weren’t made for it. I thought there was no way I could be like that.
You already know where this is going, don’t you? Less than four hours after giving birth I had the lactation team teaching me how to pump. It was depressing not being able to try and nurse my girls right away, but they were in the NICU. The first attempt at breastfeeding didn’t come until almost 48 hours into their lives.
The lactation consultant told me not to breastfeed for more than 15 minutes before switching to the preemie formula. And then only attempt to feed a baby for no more than 30 minutes total or they end up burning more calories than they take it. And guess what, I had to do this twice in a row! And I was only supposed to nurse them every 6 hours (they’d get formula in between).
Here’s why this was hurtful: my girls were getting exposed to the bottle nipples more than my own. And you know what? They liked the bottle more. Even after we were all discharged and I could nurse in the comfort of my own home, they still refused the breast. Now, they still got breastmilk. I was pumping every three hours and would give them that. It just hurt that they refused to nurse.
I bring this up because I’ve recently spent time with a family member who is nursing her newborn and it was a bit painful to watch how easily she could feed her child. Maybe it’s because I had two at once so it was impossible to tandem feed. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough.
But you know what? Forget the guilt. Fed is best. Yes, I wish I could’ve nursed my girls with no formula supplement. I had plans to nurse for a year. Didn’t happen. Instead, my girls got to have both breast milk and formula. And then it was all formula because I was barely pumping anything.
Today my girls are thriving. I’ve expressed my concerns of guilt to my therapist, ob-gyn, and the pediatrician. You know what all said? “Fed is best.”
So this is me, trying to reassure myself that I’ve done the best I can. And you can too.
Mom’s unite.
Twin Mom 